You Can’t Buy Our Approval—You Can Only Earn It.
Wellness is a multi-billion-dollar industry—and let’s be honest, most of it is bullshit.
From detox scams to overpriced supplements, we’ve all seen products that promise the world and deliver nothing but disappointment. And with sponsorships, influencers, and pay-to-play marketing running the show, who can you actually trust?
That’s why we’re doing things differently.
We don’t take payouts.
We don’t accept paid reviews.
We don’t push hype.
We just tell the truth. If a product sucks, we’ll say it. If it’s worth your time, you’ll know. No agenda. No corporate strings attached. Just real, unbiased testing from people who actually care.
🚀 How It Works
🔍 We Test It Like Real People
No staged unboxings. No fake reactions. If we wouldn’t use it in our daily lives, we won’t review it.
🧪 We Break It Down
We look at ingredients, sourcing, effectiveness, longevity, and real-world application. Fancy branding doesn’t mean shit if the product doesn’t deliver.
💯 We Call It Like It Is
If it’s garbage, we’ll tell you. If it’s overpriced, we’ll say so. And if it’s actually worth your money, you’ll know why.
💀 No Brand Loyalty. No Sugarcoating.
Just because we like one product doesn’t mean we’ll like the next one from the same brand. Every review stands on its own.
⚡ Categories We Cover
We test anything and everything in the wellness space:
✅ Supplements & Superfoods – Real results or just expensive placebos? We’ll find out.
✅ Recovery & Performance Gear – Cold plunges, red light therapy, EMF blockers—do they work? We test them.
✅ Detox & Cleanses – $200 juice detoxes? Don’t even try us. If it’s legit, we’ll say so. If it’s a scam, we’ll torch it.
✅ Fitness & Training Equipment – Because your body deserves better than junk fitness gadgets.
✅ Food & Beverages – From “clean” protein bars to organic meal kits, we’ll call out the hidden garbage (or confirm if it’s actually worth it).
✅ Biohacking & Alternative Therapies – Blue light glasses, PEMF mats, grounding shoes—science or snake oil?
💀 What We Won’t Review
• MLM products. If your product is a pyramid scheme, go home.
• Pharmaceuticals. That’s a different industry.
• Anything we wouldn’t actually use (looking at you, Jerry’s Ball Hair Removal Cream).
📜 Terms & Conditions: Read This Before Sending Us Anything
🔥 Sending us a product does NOT guarantee a review.
Brands can send us all the free shit they want—we are not obligated to test or write about it. We pick what’s worth reviewing.
🔥 You can’t buy a good review.
Don’t even ask. We don’t do sponsorships, affiliate links, or shady backdoor deals. If your product sucks, we’ll say it.
🔥 All reviews are final.
We don’t edit, revise, or remove reviews because a brand got their feelings hurt. If we post it, it stays up.
🔥 If you disagree with our review, do better.
We don’t argue with brands. We don’t do PR damage control. If you don’t like our take, make a better product.
🔥 Respect our time.
We are not a free marketing service. Don’t send us 400 products and expect us to review them all. If we test something, it’s because we actually want to.
🔥 The AwakeWellness Standard: The Stamp You Can’t Buy
We’re not here to hype products. We’re here to expose the truth.
If something actually passes our brutal, no-bullshit testing process, it may earn the AwakeWellness Approved stamp. That’s not a guarantee—it’s a challenge.
Brands can’t buy this certification. They have to earn it.
Because in a world full of wellness scams, we stand for the truth.
🚀 Still Want to Submit a Product?
If you’ve got a product that you think can stand up to the most brutally honest review in the industry, hit us up. No guarantees. No hand-holding. Just the truth.
📩 [FORM COMING SOON!]
